Another one of the goals for these 45 days is to focus on others. When we laid out the guidelines we had in mind "our neighbor". That is a big guideline and encompasses just about everyone. I have been feeling overwhelmed by this portion of our fast and have spent some significant time thinking about it. How do you serve "your neighbor" and still uphold the other goals of the fast (most directly, spending)?
And the excuses begin...
I feel like we volunteer regularly. I am on a greeting team at our church and Steve and I co-teach a class once a month. We are generally helpful to people we know providing meals in times of need or helping out in other ways.
But what about people we don't know. The more I think about it the more I realize that this is an area that we are pretty weak in. We have a general sense of who our immediate neighbors are and what they do for a living, but we have never gone out of our way to serve them. Why? Well, I guess I always thought it took money but really, it takes time. It costs me nothing to make some cookies and drop them off to someone. Or actually set a date to have the neighbors over for dinner, we have talked with them about doing that after all. We have no difficulty with the introduction, it is the follow through where we are hung up.
Take Action!
So, that is what I am going to do. Sometime in the next 7 days I am going to go to our neighbors (Amy, Andrew and their son Owen) and get a date on the calendar for dinner. No more procrastinating and making excuses.
Is there something you have been putting off or just making excuses to not do? It's time to seize the day, for we know not how many we have left!
Friday, August 15, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
The Answer is not always Yes!
One of the goals of our financial fast is to spend some additional time focusing on what God is doing. Besides additional time praying as a family I have also spent my morning commute doing some additional Bible reading. In an attempt to keep our goals front and center I wanted to share with you some things I have learned.
This week I have been reading about Solomon building the Temple. The Temple was amazing. If you have never read about the beauty of the Temple pick up a Bible and read 1 Kings 5 - 9, you won't be disappointed!
Sometimes the answer is No!
However, what really struck me is what happened before the Temple was built. Initially David wanted to build the Temple. God told David no, but told him that his son, Solomon, would be responsible for building the Temple.
1 Kings 8:17-21
17 "My father David had it in his heart to build a temple for the Name of the LORD, the God of Israel. 18 But the LORD said to my father David, 'Because it was in your heart to build a temple for my Name, you did well to have this in your heart. 19 Nevertheless, you are not the one to build the temple, but your son, who is your own flesh and blood—he is the one who will build the temple for my Name.'
20 "The LORD has kept the promise he made: I have succeeded David my father and now I sit on the throne of Israel, just as the LORD promised, and I have built the temple for the Name of the LORD, the God of Israel. 21 I have provided a place there for the ark, in which is the covenant of the LORD that he made with our fathers when he brought them out of Egypt."
With the completion of the Temple God fulfilled his promise to David.
Waiting for an Answer
Sometimes God says no, wait, I promise I have something else in mind. If God can tell David to wait and then faithfully fulfill His promise even after David's death, then why do I have such a hard time accepting that God does the same for me?
Our time spent fasting is about waiting. Waiting to fill our own desires, even if they are good ones like David's desire for the Temple, and faithfully listening to God. Right now we are waiting and I am encouraged that God will fulfill his promise to be faithful to our family, just as He was to David.
This week I have been reading about Solomon building the Temple. The Temple was amazing. If you have never read about the beauty of the Temple pick up a Bible and read 1 Kings 5 - 9, you won't be disappointed!
Sometimes the answer is No!
However, what really struck me is what happened before the Temple was built. Initially David wanted to build the Temple. God told David no, but told him that his son, Solomon, would be responsible for building the Temple.
1 Kings 8:17-21
17 "My father David had it in his heart to build a temple for the Name of the LORD, the God of Israel. 18 But the LORD said to my father David, 'Because it was in your heart to build a temple for my Name, you did well to have this in your heart. 19 Nevertheless, you are not the one to build the temple, but your son, who is your own flesh and blood—he is the one who will build the temple for my Name.'
20 "The LORD has kept the promise he made: I have succeeded David my father and now I sit on the throne of Israel, just as the LORD promised, and I have built the temple for the Name of the LORD, the God of Israel. 21 I have provided a place there for the ark, in which is the covenant of the LORD that he made with our fathers when he brought them out of Egypt."
With the completion of the Temple God fulfilled his promise to David.
Waiting for an Answer
Sometimes God says no, wait, I promise I have something else in mind. If God can tell David to wait and then faithfully fulfill His promise even after David's death, then why do I have such a hard time accepting that God does the same for me?
Our time spent fasting is about waiting. Waiting to fill our own desires, even if they are good ones like David's desire for the Temple, and faithfully listening to God. Right now we are waiting and I am encouraged that God will fulfill his promise to be faithful to our family, just as He was to David.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
What is a necessity?
Webster defines a necessity as
1) The quality or sate of being necessary
2) Something necessary: requirement
3) Neediness.
During our fast we have had to decide what was a necessity. For us we have based that decision on definition 3) neediness. Do we need it? A lot of times the answer has been no and a few times the answer has been yes. Then there are the things that fall into a grey area.
Steve asked me "Since we are on this fast can I still get a haircut?" I immediately said yes. I didn't even think about it. But is a haircut truly a "need"?
What is a need?
Now maybe this seems nit picky. Maybe I am being an extremist and blowing things way out of proportion. So here were some things I thought about after the fact and what I determined.
- We could skip the haircuts this month and wait until the fast is over.
- Steve could get out the clippers and try to cut his own hair (which has some amount of risk involved).
- Steve does work as a chef and will need to wear additional head covering if he doesn't cut his hair.
- We do normally budget for things like this.
Around the World
What was still bothering me was that when I take a look at the word necessity and I can't justify a hair cut being a need. It does not nourish body or soul. You can always go another couple weeks without one. However, eventually you will have to get your haircut.
Weather it be a home cut or a salon cut, hair gets cut in every culture around the world. Maybe you don't trade currency for a cut, maybe rice or fruit but it is a basic human activity to be groomed according to cultural standards.
Next time you "need" something think about people around the world, maybe we all have a lot more in common than we thought!
1) The quality or sate of being necessary
2) Something necessary: requirement
3) Neediness.
During our fast we have had to decide what was a necessity. For us we have based that decision on definition 3) neediness. Do we need it? A lot of times the answer has been no and a few times the answer has been yes. Then there are the things that fall into a grey area.
Steve asked me "Since we are on this fast can I still get a haircut?" I immediately said yes. I didn't even think about it. But is a haircut truly a "need"?
What is a need?
Now maybe this seems nit picky. Maybe I am being an extremist and blowing things way out of proportion. So here were some things I thought about after the fact and what I determined.
- We could skip the haircuts this month and wait until the fast is over.
- Steve could get out the clippers and try to cut his own hair (which has some amount of risk involved).
- Steve does work as a chef and will need to wear additional head covering if he doesn't cut his hair.
- We do normally budget for things like this.
Around the World
What was still bothering me was that when I take a look at the word necessity and I can't justify a hair cut being a need. It does not nourish body or soul. You can always go another couple weeks without one. However, eventually you will have to get your haircut.
Weather it be a home cut or a salon cut, hair gets cut in every culture around the world. Maybe you don't trade currency for a cut, maybe rice or fruit but it is a basic human activity to be groomed according to cultural standards.
Next time you "need" something think about people around the world, maybe we all have a lot more in common than we thought!
Friday, August 8, 2008
From Good to Bad...
So maybe I am not a big fan of this fast. I went from feeling somewhat euphoric about it to being almost sad.
There are some things that our family loves doing together. From February - October we do baseball. Pitchers and catchers report, spring training games all the way through the world series. Steve is a die hard St. Louis Cardinals fan. And, our son will be too, this will be one area where he will have little choice in the matter.
That being said it is a big weekend. The Cardinals versus the Cubs in Chicago and we can walk to Wrigley Field. To top it all off someone we know has tickets for Sunday night and offered to sell them to us and offered up free baby-sitting. I came >this close< to justifying this purchase. "Steve and I could use a date night." "We haven't seen the Cardinals play all season." "Steve deserves the break from homework" (don't you like how I make it all about him!). It was not to be. I said no and stuck to it (reluctantly).
So what have I learned:
-I can say no. Not only can I say no I can say it politely and without putting anyone off.
-Steve is an optimist. When I told him his response was "I have homework to do Sunday nite." Way to keep things in perspective!
-There will always be other games. Sometimes I forget that the rush of excitement I feel about something is just a feeling.
The Rest of the Weekend
So instead of the game, what will we do? Well, I can almost guarantee the game will be watched. We also have small group that night and we will really enjoy seeing our friends after last weeks break. The time will be well spent and the game, well, GO CARDS!
There are some things that our family loves doing together. From February - October we do baseball. Pitchers and catchers report, spring training games all the way through the world series. Steve is a die hard St. Louis Cardinals fan. And, our son will be too, this will be one area where he will have little choice in the matter.
That being said it is a big weekend. The Cardinals versus the Cubs in Chicago and we can walk to Wrigley Field. To top it all off someone we know has tickets for Sunday night and offered to sell them to us and offered up free baby-sitting. I came >this close< to justifying this purchase. "Steve and I could use a date night." "We haven't seen the Cardinals play all season." "Steve deserves the break from homework" (don't you like how I make it all about him!). It was not to be. I said no and stuck to it (reluctantly).
So what have I learned:
-I can say no. Not only can I say no I can say it politely and without putting anyone off.
-Steve is an optimist. When I told him his response was "I have homework to do Sunday nite." Way to keep things in perspective!
-There will always be other games. Sometimes I forget that the rush of excitement I feel about something is just a feeling.
The Rest of the Weekend
So instead of the game, what will we do? Well, I can almost guarantee the game will be watched. We also have small group that night and we will really enjoy seeing our friends after last weeks break. The time will be well spent and the game, well, GO CARDS!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
I have a confession to make...
I have a confession to make. I am actually enjoying our journey. I know, I know. How can a person that is withholding extras from their life enjoy it!?! Well, it is easy to enjoy when it hits you that the extras in life are not what makes life better or worse.
For example, there is an ice cream place that we frequent in our neighborhood. (And when I say frequent think several times a week!). We haven't stopped by since we started our journey. And although a medium sized vanilla custard in a regular cone sounds wonderful, it won't change the outcome of my day!
What is fun about those trips it that it is a family occasion. We all get our shoes and hats and stroll over to the ice cream stand. Steve and I catch up on our day while Keller points out every dog we see and says "woof, woof" in the tiniest voice you've ever heard. THAT is what makes getting ice cream fun. Spending time enjoying each other and our peaceful little neighborhood with nothing else on our minds. I hope tonite after dinner we can enjoy a nice walk and just enjoy each other's company!
Take time to think about what makes your doing so fulfilling. I expect that if you think about it long enough you will find it isn't the event or the stuff you buy, but the people you are with.
For example, there is an ice cream place that we frequent in our neighborhood. (And when I say frequent think several times a week!). We haven't stopped by since we started our journey. And although a medium sized vanilla custard in a regular cone sounds wonderful, it won't change the outcome of my day!
What is fun about those trips it that it is a family occasion. We all get our shoes and hats and stroll over to the ice cream stand. Steve and I catch up on our day while Keller points out every dog we see and says "woof, woof" in the tiniest voice you've ever heard. THAT is what makes getting ice cream fun. Spending time enjoying each other and our peaceful little neighborhood with nothing else on our minds. I hope tonite after dinner we can enjoy a nice walk and just enjoy each other's company!
Take time to think about what makes your doing so fulfilling. I expect that if you think about it long enough you will find it isn't the event or the stuff you buy, but the people you are with.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Can you resist?
The Setup
If someone asks you out for dinner and you don't have it budgeted will you offer to cook instead? If someone asks you out for coffee are you comfortable ordering water? These are questions that I am asking almost on a daily basis now.
We live in a big city and people here go, go, go. In addition to being on the move, people here love to spend time in community. It is one of my favorite things about the city. I absolutely love getting together with friends and neighbors. However, getting together for most of the people we know includes spending a significant amount of money. Now $5 at Starbucks and $15 for lunch here and there is expected but what I am noticing is that these occasions are more than once a week and that not only adds up quickly but might take away from the idea of community.
The Question
If the underlying idea is to spend time with one another then why does it always have to be "going out"? What happened to dinner parties and game nights? Walks to the park and tea on the porch? Why do we feel almost embarrassed to suggest an alternative to "going out"? Simply, we are consumers. The city, my favorite magazines, even work tells me I am not enjoying life if I don't have big plans every weekend. If I am not out consuming something I am missing out.
The Challenge
So, that is today's challenge. When someone asks you to dinner think about inviting them over. When someone wants to grab coffee maybe grab a water bottle and take a walk at the park as an alternative.
As part of our fast we have to seek alternatives to going out without giving up the community. I miss those cups of coffee and dinners out and I will be glad when we have the flexibility to say yes to some of those things. But, I am learning that community is less about location and more about just being together.
If someone asks you out for dinner and you don't have it budgeted will you offer to cook instead? If someone asks you out for coffee are you comfortable ordering water? These are questions that I am asking almost on a daily basis now.
We live in a big city and people here go, go, go. In addition to being on the move, people here love to spend time in community. It is one of my favorite things about the city. I absolutely love getting together with friends and neighbors. However, getting together for most of the people we know includes spending a significant amount of money. Now $5 at Starbucks and $15 for lunch here and there is expected but what I am noticing is that these occasions are more than once a week and that not only adds up quickly but might take away from the idea of community.
The Question
If the underlying idea is to spend time with one another then why does it always have to be "going out"? What happened to dinner parties and game nights? Walks to the park and tea on the porch? Why do we feel almost embarrassed to suggest an alternative to "going out"? Simply, we are consumers. The city, my favorite magazines, even work tells me I am not enjoying life if I don't have big plans every weekend. If I am not out consuming something I am missing out.
The Challenge
So, that is today's challenge. When someone asks you to dinner think about inviting them over. When someone wants to grab coffee maybe grab a water bottle and take a walk at the park as an alternative.
As part of our fast we have to seek alternatives to going out without giving up the community. I miss those cups of coffee and dinners out and I will be glad when we have the flexibility to say yes to some of those things. But, I am learning that community is less about location and more about just being together.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Selfishness...
Realizing how selfish you are is one of the most humbling experiences a person can have. This is where I am at this morning.
It is one thing to just "give up" something but it is another to focus on replacing that which you gave up with something else. That is a little confusing. I guess what I am trying to say is that this exercise of not spending and not focusing on me and trying to focus on others is a lot harder than I had originally thought.
For me it isn't so much the not spending that bothers me (after all, that extra dessert that I am not having is a good thing!). For me it is difficult to shift my focus to something else, which is part of this 45 day journey.
The first time I experienced this was the birth of our son. It was a huge adjustment to go from doing what I wanted to being on a schedule and meeting the needs of an infant. Now, 15 months later, we have fully adjusted and I can't picture our lives any other way. Adjusting to having an infant to care for didn't happen over night. It was several weeks of trial and error and learning and relearning.
So perhaps that is our lesson for today. The ability to stop being selfish and start having a more outward face will be a process. So here we are, admitting that we are selfish and that we will start to focus on the joy of the journey.
It is one thing to just "give up" something but it is another to focus on replacing that which you gave up with something else. That is a little confusing. I guess what I am trying to say is that this exercise of not spending and not focusing on me and trying to focus on others is a lot harder than I had originally thought.
For me it isn't so much the not spending that bothers me (after all, that extra dessert that I am not having is a good thing!). For me it is difficult to shift my focus to something else, which is part of this 45 day journey.
The first time I experienced this was the birth of our son. It was a huge adjustment to go from doing what I wanted to being on a schedule and meeting the needs of an infant. Now, 15 months later, we have fully adjusted and I can't picture our lives any other way. Adjusting to having an infant to care for didn't happen over night. It was several weeks of trial and error and learning and relearning.
So perhaps that is our lesson for today. The ability to stop being selfish and start having a more outward face will be a process. So here we are, admitting that we are selfish and that we will start to focus on the joy of the journey.
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